1. What’s worse - Physical or Mental cheating?
Si cheating is cheating?
2. Is it easier to forgive or forget?
To forgive….forgetting…well, that’s a matter of the heart, and frankly speaking, my heart tends to overwrite my brain many a time.
3. Can men and women be ” Just Friends?”
Heck yeah…happens like ALL the time
4. Dating co-workers?
Mmm….
5. All expenses paid vacation to anywhere?
Hurray! Where, when, what time? Can I carry two hand luggage pieces???
6. On the way to the electric chair - What’s your last meal?
Meal??!! Are u freakin kiddin me?? I’m about to die n***a!!!
7. Water parks are…?
WTF are water parks???
8. When you are “In Love” do you notice other people?
What do “other people” and “in love” have to do with each other???
9. Is flirting cheating?
Ok, didn’t I just answer a cheating question somewhere along the line??? C’mon now!
10. Would you rather have 1 great friend or 5 pals?
Def – 1 super duper friend!
11. If someone called you a bitch would you be offended?
Who me? A bitch? B***h its ON!!!
12. Are you ok with your significant other being friends with an ex?
Significant other? Significant how? When did this significance happen? Who gives a rat’s tail anyways?
13. Would you live with someone without marrying them?
Ok, this is outrageously hilariuos!!! We r jus livin together!!!Helllooooo??
14. Favorite sport?
Sport….hmm….lacrosse???
15. Is toilet paper hung over or under?
WTF???
16. Do you squeeze toothpaste from the middle or end of the tube?
Ok, this is a trick question, right?
17. How do you feel about tanning booths?
Tanning….ok, I ain’t white…so clearly…
18. Friends with benefits?
Friends are friends…whether with benefits or not.
19. Do you believe in angels?
Yup….I know a couple…
20. Would you rather take pictures or be in pictures?
Take….
21. Have you ever flirted with someone you had no interest in?
Nope…that would beat the whole purpose, now wouldn’t it?
22. Ever kissed a random person and then walked away?
Nope
23. Would you buy bootleg merchandise?
Shhh…don’t say that aloud! DAMN! (yes I would)
24. What color looks best on you?
Blue...and black
25. If you could play any sport professionally what would it be?
Tennis...I love them short skirts!
26. Ever break up with someone and regret it?
Mmm…not reeeeally.
27. Are you a jealous person?
I can be…
28. Would you ever have plastic surgery?
NO! its plastic!
29. When do you want to get married?
Who wants to get married?? C’mon…trick questions…gat to stop!
30. Who has the sexiest accents?
Ok….sexy is relative…so…Brits??
31. Next concert you’re attending?
I would only ever attend a rock concert, and seeing that we’re in Kenya…I’m guessing that will never happen…so…never?
32. Favorite song?
Contagious by Avril. Oh…gat to squeeze in Gravity by Sara Bareilles
33. Favorite movie?
Hitman…must have watched this like 10 times…probably know it backwards
34. What’s your occupation?
Editor…holy cow! I have a deadline!!! EEK!!
35. What’s your sign?
Taurus….I am a BULL!!!
36. Are you a beach, country or city person
City, city, city…I enjoy the fast life…
37. Best vacation spot you’ve been to?
Malindi…
38. Have you ever had a “secret affair?”
Hmm…define secret…
39. If you could own a non-traditional pet which would it be?
“Non-traditional”???
40. Favorite show as a child?
The Smuffs
41. Where do you spend most of your money?
Shopping for shoes!!
42. Are you currently working at a job that you hate?
I love my job…just hate the place…make sense??
43. Have you ever been so heart broken that you called in sick to work?
Good grief!! Does that actually happen for real?
44. Favorite summer drink?
Ok, we are ALWAYS experiencing “summer”…that said…Alvaro! And no, I don’t care whether its alcoholic or not.
45. Can you change a car tire?
Why should I?? Aren’t there some guys who get paid to do that?
46. Favorite cologne / perfume?
Flower by Kenzo
47. Favorite candle scent?
Potpourri
48. Would you consider yourself adventurous?
Yeah…my whole life is practically an adventure…
49. What is your My Space profile song?
My-what???
50. Favorite concert attended?
Ok, I just did a concert question somewhere up yonder..
51. Would you date an already attached man / woman?
Attached? To what? Or where? Are we talking Siamese twins or somethin?
52. Would you sing Karaoke in front of co-workers?
I would sing, period.
53. Can you shoot pool?
No, but I can shoot a b***h…
54. Do you like your siblings’ significant others?
Ok, this significance ish is so yesterday.
55. Can you drive a stick?
Drive a what? Ok, I need a translator.
56. Did you wear white at your wedding?
Wedding…again. (Huge, collective sigh)
57. Have you ever sat and hoped for a phone call?
Mmm…lets see…I’ve hopped on the spot, jogged, twiddled my thimbs, wringed my fingers till they turned blue, chewed on my lips, tugged at my meager hair…well, sitting doesn’t quite fit in here, now does it?
58. Ever skip school and spend the day at the beach?
Beach, no. Bed yes.
59. Favorite TV show/s?
Gilmore Girls, 24, 2 and A Half Men, Prison Break, America’s Next Top Model, Scrubs, Ugly Betty
60. What do you think about gay marriage?
I don’t think about it.
62. What are you waiting for at the movies?
What?
63. What is your favorite holiday?
Christmas!!
64. Describe your fighting style: drunken master or angry monkey?
Ok, I’m a very refined person, so clearly mudslinging competitions and cat fights aint my thing. I prefer strategic arbitration when dealing with distasteful incidents. Catch my drift?
65. Piercing?
Yes…ears
66. Tattoos?
I want
67. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card?
Mmm…
68. Thongs? yes or no.
Maybe
69. Write 2 truths and 1 lie.
I don’t want to. Lying is bad
May it be noted that shortly afterwards, yours truly passed out
Friday, 12 September 2008
Tuesday, 9 September 2008
Men, men, men…
N.B. : Yes…its true…every once in a while, I digress and address less “serious” matters (a la politics n
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A wise man once told me, "My advice to you young lady... don't try to understand men because you only end up being more confused than before..."
Well, lets just say I think dude was on to something...
See…
1. The nice men are ugly.
2. The handsome men are not nice.
3. The handsome and nice men are gay.
4. The handsome, nice, and heterosexual men
are married.
5. The men who are not so handsome, but are
nice men, have NO money.
6. The men who are not so handsome, but are
nice men with money think we are only after their
money.(hmm…anybody differ?)
7. The handsome men without money are after
OUR money.
8. The handsome men, who are not so nice and
somewhat heterosexual, don't think we are beautiful enough.
9. The men who think we are beautiful, that
are heterosexual, somewhat nice and have no money,
are cowards.
10. The men who are somewhat handsome, somewhat nice and have money
and THANK GOD are straight, are shy and NEVER MAKE THE FIRST MOVE!!!(ok,
seriously, what’s up with that?)
11. The men who never make the first move, automatically lose interest
in us when we take the initiative
So once again I think…for ONCE…the wise man was right…
Thursday, 21 August 2008
Just a thought
Okay, it seems that the controversy surrounding the sale of the Grand Regency hotel just went a notch higher. Apparently, the Libyan owners of the luxurious hotel have changed the name to Laico regency or something of the sort. Now, if that’s not a lousy stamp of ownership being brandished before us, then I don’t know what is. The hint is loud and clear for all you doubting Thomases; the hotel is ours so back off! That’s what they seem to be saying.
So I’m left to wonder; what exactly will the Cockar commission accomplish, now that business seems to be going on as usual? The hard fact is that the Libyans are not about to back off. They have a tenacious grip on the hotel title deed and no amount of “evidence”, accusations and counter accusations will make them budge.
Frankly speaking, this all seems to me to be a waste of time, energy and money. Just like any other commission of inquiry, this one will also go down in history as yet another group of persons who sat down and produced a document. Nothing will come of it. Because one would expect some sort of intervention whereby, the disputed hotel is reclaimed by the CBK until the matter of the inappropriate sale is sorted out.
But if the events on the ground are anything to go by, then this is all but a pipe dream. It was only about three weeks ago that Gaddafi’s special envoy, Mr Bashir Saleh Bashir gave a terse statement to the effect that the Libyan government is officially the new owner of the hotel(whether we like it or not) and that the debate as to whether the hotel should be repossessed by the CBK is moot.
Well, there you have it; the Grand Regency, sorry, the Laico Regency, is well and truly gone. Yup, what’s gone is gone. Deal with it!
In other news…
The VP’s wife apparently pockets 400K per month. Okay, I may be behind events on this one but seriously, someone explain to me exactly why she is earning so much money. What exactly is all this money for? And when was it decided that she should be paid by taxpayers’ money for doing whatever it is she is supposed to do? Crikes! What else is new???
My God! This is really the straw that breaks the camel’s back!
Tuesday, 19 August 2008
A DVD a Day May Keep Fazul Away
Well, I thought that in this day and age of unfathomable technology and mind reeling advancement, the entire world would have caught on and tried out a few high-tech antics in almost every sector; from science, agriculture to even security.
Of course the “First” world is well past this stage of trying out the novel technical mish mash that constitutes technological know how. It’s the developing countries that are slowly, but steadily getting grip of the wonders of technology and trying to put these to use to better the performance of their institutions.
Well, I may have beaten around the bush somewhat so let me hit the nail squarely on the head. Is it that our Kenyan police force are not dazzled by any of this technical how or is it that they are completely stymied when it comes to dealing with the apprehension of international terrorists and other criminals?
Take for instance the case of Fazul Abdullah a.k.a Fazul of the August bomb blast that shook Nairobi in 1998. The guy is clearly leaving the cops in a bit of a stupor. Because if the facts are right, then this man may just be the next best bet after Houdini; he has managed to creep, crawl, jump, dash and sidle through every possible nook, exit and barricade that the police have managed to create and left them looking dimmer than a hydrogen bulb.
Why is it that the police have been unable to nab the “most wanted terrorist” on this side of the Sahara? Despite the numerous tip offs, close encounters and manpower that they have, they simply just cant catch Fazul! And to think that the fellow has a kidney problem that would make a toothache seem like a mild cold. He probably cant even walk straight. But no! Somehow, some way, he has managed to elude the police, over and over again.
The worst part is that they always appear thoroughly unfazed and diffident when relaying their incapability to nab the bomber. Like recently when a team of anti-terrorist officers ambushed a building where Fazul was hiding in, it somehow didn’t seem to cross their minds that the building needed to be completely surrounded. So while the good police were busy hammering in the front door, the terrorist managed to sneak out through the back and rush away to sweet freedom. Again!
For crying out loud, haven’t the numerous programmes such as 24, Prison Break and CSI, just to name a few, taught these fellows anything? Okay, I know these programmes may not be everyone’s cup of tea, but frankly speaking, if I was a cop, I think I’d be keen to know just what exactly these “cop programmes” have to offer that I don’t already know. Whether its fictitious or fact. Because I bet there are some pretty cool moves and antics that many a cop would learn. Even our very own “Cobra Squad” may have something to offer.
Forget the crazy sci-fi effects and the coded gibberish that the actors bark at each other when approaching a building where a suspect is holed in. Concentrate on how they approach the building or suspect, how they speak, how they walk, crawl, creep or dash in and how they accost the suspect etc etc. I think its surprising what one can learn from these programmes.
True, they are just but figments of some very creative director’s imagination, but frankly, some ideas are quite feasible.
So please, someone lend these guys a DVD or two. Maybe this may just give them a couple of ideas on how to deal with Fazul and his cohorts.
And his nine lives may quickly come to a screeching end.
Tuesday, 22 July 2008
Schools Fiasco
The kids are at it again. Strike – Season 3…clearly we are being feted by the best of the best.
Something is seriously wrong; I know strikes are no strange thing but 300 schools affected! In a span of 4 weeks! Over 70 students have been arrested and charged with arson and damage to property…That has got to send some alarm bells ringing.
The Minister of Education has moved quickly to set up [yet another] commission of inquiry to look into this ‘unprecedented” rise of school unrest. Clearly, our memories are wanting. Wasn’t it just the other day [year 2001] when Henry Kosgey was minister of the same ministry, that a commission was set up to look into the very same issue? And didn’t this committee, chaired by Director of Education, Mrs Naomi Wangai, table a comprehensive report of its findings? And didn’t this report outline the various recommendations that would help to put such unrest at bay?
Well, in true Kenyan fashion, this never happened….the Wangai report’s recommendations have never been implemented. Despite its candid proposals that included the amendment of the outdated Education Act and streamlining the mode of school governance, nothing has been done yet.
And here we go, forming another commission that is of course, funded by none other than you and I (yes, taxpayers’ money) to tell us the same old things that we already know. The same things that were mentioned seven years ago. Its sickening, to say the least.
I think kids these days have had it too easy. No corporal punishment, thanks to the Children’s Act which abhorred this form of discipline to the point of prohibiting it altogether; this must have been the point of no return. Hi-fi systems and DVD screens in 62-seater buses, three course meals, mobile phones(complete with airtime) and enough pocket money to make a casual labourer in Majengo green…well, these kids sure do know how to ask for the most amazing things…at least that’s what I have managed to gather from the kids’ wish lists, according to the news.
For crying out loud, do these kids know how hard life is out here? Okay, they may have their innocent, blue-eyed moments where they feel they should have it easy in school but then again, did we have it easy? Definitely not! And this was thoroughly instilled into our subconscious. School was a military-like institution where such lofty ideas such as the ones these kids are airing could not even stand the light of day. Mobile phones? Get out of here! Exams are too tough? Crikes! That’s the whole point of school, dummies! Its not meant to be a holiday camp. Its meant to be a place that toughens you and turns your skin into hide. Impermeable to all the stuff that life will throw at you once you’re out of there.
Well, I guess we’ll have to wait and see if the cane and switch will triumph and find their way back to the classroom. Because as long as we try to be mellow with the kids, they’ll always cry over anything. Even the razor – when we know damn well it will cut them…
Monday, 30 June 2008
The Grand Scam(Part 3)
Dominic Odipo’s commentary, in The Standard on June 30th 2008, was well on point. He argued that Cabinet Ministers are knowingly ignoring the rule of law largely because they know that even if they flout a thousand laws, nothing whatsoever will happen to them. And he’s right. After all, this is
I must admit that I too have been thoroughly bemused by this apparently “clean deal” that is the sale of the Grand Regency and all the bickering and cacophony that has kicked off the week.
I may not understand the dynamics with which Amos Kimunya “sealed the deal”, so to speak, nor who exactly are the new owners of this controversial piece of property. But what I do know for a fact is that Kimunya will not resign.
He knows that whatever he did was purely based on vested interests. He dared not spare a thought for the taxpayers.
And he did all this with the comforting notion that absolutely nothing would be done to him.
Infact, it would come as a huge surprise if he were to actually heed the full throated calls of Kenyans and his colleagues alike and resign. Because, as we all know, Kenyan (and even African) political leaders are not famous for their ability to exercise honesty and do the noble thing; admitting that one is wrong and stepping aside for investigations to take place.
So as Mr. Odipo pointed out, our Cabinet ministers will continue to break the law with outright impunity, because they just don’t care about the ramifications.
For all the Kenyans and politicians baying for Kimunya’s blood, spare a thought for this evaluation: If Samuel Kivuitu, he of the infamous ECK, failed to tender his resignation, even after presiding over botched elections, why is it that we believe that Kimunya will resign?
Seriously, the man even dared to retort on national TV that he would “burn with the country”, if that was deemed fit by the electorate! We all know that never happened. The man and his band of commissioners, is still drawing his hefty salary package every end month. No signs of burning with the country there…
Well, I will simply lean back and watch how this drama will unfold. But pray, do forgive me my fellow citizens if I don’t bet my two cents that Kimunya will do the honourable thing. Well…at least not unless he’s dragged out of office by a dozen horses and a carriage.
Thursday, 19 June 2008
Tax Them!
I’m at a loss – someone help me out here…
I don’t know which is more pathetic; the whines of an eight year old, whose got a piece of meat stuck in his molar, or the whines of grown up men and women, who are grumbling about the possibility of their larger than life allowances being taxed.
God knows this country’s taxpayers are already bent double at the waist with the weight of MPs salaries. Earning over 200,000 shillings per month(this is the only bit that’s taxed) and scooping enormous allowances that sum up to a total earning of about 850,000 shillings…this is really the height of irony, in a country that’s reeling from post-election violence effects, spiralling inflation rates and soaring food prices.
I honestly used to believe that anyone with a conscience would never be able to sleep comfortably, knowing full well the problems plaguing his neighbours and also knowing that he could do something about it. But as far as our MPs are concerned; I gave up on them a long time ago. Because while their constituents continue to endure the daily grind that is life, the MPs continue to live the high life. They build palatial homes, cruise in fuel guzzlers, eat the choicest meat and generally live on the lap of luxury. All in the full glare of their constituents’ bleary eyes.
So forgive us, oh worthy “honourable members of parliament” if we side with Mr. Kimunya on this one. Because he seems to be listening to our pleas, rather than “playing the public gallery” as Peter Kenneth suggests. Okay, even if he is(I don’t really care), at least he has the guts to propose the “unthinkable” for the second time. I just hope that this time, his noble motion wont be scuttled out of the August House. We all know they will anyway. I’m just trying my hand at some optimism.
But I seriously think its well overdue, this whole idea. These people need to know that if it wasn’t for us (and an inept electoral commission), they wouldn’t be feeling on top of the world. Those pedestals on which they perch can easily come down.
So while the likes of Bonny Khalwale (Ikolomani MP) argue that those calling for tax have already benefited from financial scandals, Kenyans continue to shake their heads in disbelief. I mean, who gives two hoots whether some MPs have enriched themselves from shady deals or not! After all, birds of a feather flock together; and these birds all seem alike to me. So big deal! All we want to see is some action – let these people be taxed! That’s one way of showing Kenyans that they seriously care about our suffering. And that they too have consciences.
We are behind you 100% Mr. Kimunya. Don’t let your colleagues talk you out of this one or else you will have failed the populace mightily.
On that note:
Will these retail chains and kiosks quit messing around? I’m still waiting for the price of a loaf of bread to go down by 5 shillings, at least. Hello??? Kimunya zero rated tax on basic commodities like bread and rice, and reduced tax on wheat. So that really translates to something like this – BREAD IS BACK ON THE BREAKFAST TABLE! (At least it should be…)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)