Thursday, 25 September 2008

Cartoon of the month!



I have to hand it to Gado;dude is a genius...

If this here illustration doesnt make u bray with laughter, then nothing will. I mean, look at those expressions on Uhuru and Karua's faces...MY GOD!

Lets see...satire, check. Wit...check check. Sarcasm...triple check!

Enough said.

Tuesday, 16 September 2008

Looking back...

http://www.eastandard.net/politics/InsidePage.php?id=1143994954&cid=289&

I came across this interesting article, just as I was ruminating over issues regarding our country’s CEO’s performance record.

I must say, dude hit the nail precisely on the head. And with this in mind, I can only add my 5 cents worth: this country was more or less better off in the Moi days.

Yup, there I said it. Now bring out the rungus and machetes…but before you cast the first stone, you might want to think about this a bit. Go on, chew on this piece of cud…

Does anyone honestly feel that this country’s institutions are much more efficient than they were some 8 years ago?

True some exceptions can be drawn, and even some privatized institutions have a lot to show for themselves. But I sincerely miss the days when Moi would just crack the whip and all disgruntled and unruly "chieftains" would be back on track, toeing the line. True, the former CEO was a bit too heavy on the “Big Man” character, but I feel in the long run, this country was spared a lot of mudslinging and name calling as is now the norm amongst our MPs.

Well, we may draw comparisons for an entire decade but methinks Moi knew how to keep his country well oiled and running. Of course, it reached a point when democracy(which can be very very loud) had to have the day; but I wish Kibaki would have borrowed a leaf or two from the “Professor of politics”…

Friday, 12 September 2008

Of true women friends …

There are women who will make your life miserable if you allow them to.

There are women who will go behind your back to report/bitch talk/yap/gossip/hate on you,

There are also women who want what you have: your job, your confidence, your peace and joy - and your husband!

There are those who will look at you from head to toe and find a fault to pick on.

Then there are those who want to be you (not realizing that you have your own insecurities).

There are those who want to know where you shop just so they can rate your class and how far up the ladder they are.

Then of course, there are those who secretly want your boyfriend or husband.One truth in life is that even if drawn together by the same faith, community or interests, not every woman can be your true friend.

A true friend would never compete with you. In fact, when life beats you up so hard that you can't dream, she dreams for you.

When you can't afford a trip out of town, she pays for your ticket. If you introduce her to a male friend, she will ask you a hundred times if you like the guy before she shows any interest.

She would never date your ex because when he became a jerk to you, he might as well have become a jerk to her as well, never mind who was at fault. I have found that it is necessary to find female friends (and become one as well) with whom you connect deeply.

Women who are confident in who they are without being arrogant.

Women who know that there is more to life than who is dating who and who bought what from where.

Today, tell all your TRUE female friends that your world would be less without them.

Friendship

is a promise spoken by heart. It is not given by a pledge, neither is it written on a paper.

It is a promise renewed every time friends keep in touch.

69 Questions

1. What’s worse - Physical or Mental cheating?
Si cheating is cheating?

2. Is it easier to forgive or forget?
To forgive….forgetting…well, that’s a matter of the heart, and frankly speaking, my heart tends to overwrite my brain many a time.

3. Can men and women be ” Just Friends?”
Heck yeah…happens like ALL the time

4. Dating co-workers?
Mmm….

5. All expenses paid vacation to anywhere?
Hurray! Where, when, what time? Can I carry two hand luggage pieces???

6. On the way to the electric chair - What’s your last meal?
Meal??!! Are u freakin kiddin me?? I’m about to die n***a!!!

7. Water parks are…?
WTF are water parks???

8. When you are “In Love” do you notice other people?
What do “other people” and “in love” have to do with each other???

9. Is flirting cheating?
Ok, didn’t I just answer a cheating question somewhere along the line??? C’mon now!

10. Would you rather have 1 great friend or 5 pals?
Def – 1 super duper friend!

11. If someone called you a bitch would you be offended?
Who me? A bitch? B***h its ON!!!

12. Are you ok with your significant other being friends with an ex?
Significant other? Significant how? When did this significance happen? Who gives a rat’s tail anyways?

13. Would you live with someone without marrying them?
Ok, this is outrageously hilariuos!!! We r jus livin together!!!Helllooooo??

14. Favorite sport?
Sport….hmm….lacrosse???

15. Is toilet paper hung over or under?
WTF???

16. Do you squeeze toothpaste from the middle or end of the tube?
Ok, this is a trick question, right?

17. How do you feel about tanning booths?
Tanning….ok, I ain’t white…so clearly…

18. Friends with benefits?
Friends are friends…whether with benefits or not.

19. Do you believe in angels?
Yup….I know a couple…

20. Would you rather take pictures or be in pictures?
Take….

21. Have you ever flirted with someone you had no interest in?
Nope…that would beat the whole purpose, now wouldn’t it?

22. Ever kissed a random person and then walked away?
Nope

23. Would you buy bootleg merchandise?
Shhh…don’t say that aloud! DAMN! (yes I would)

24. What color looks best on you?
Blue...and black

25. If you could play any sport professionally what would it be?
Tennis...I love them short skirts!

26. Ever break up with someone and regret it?
Mmm…not reeeeally.

27. Are you a jealous person?
I can be…

28. Would you ever have plastic surgery?
NO! its plastic!

29. When do you want to get married?
Who wants to get married?? C’mon…trick questions…gat to stop!

30. Who has the sexiest accents?
Ok….sexy is relative…so…Brits??

31. Next concert you’re attending?
I would only ever attend a rock concert, and seeing that we’re in Kenya…I’m guessing that will never happen…so…never?

32. Favorite song?
Contagious by Avril. Oh…gat to squeeze in Gravity by Sara Bareilles

33. Favorite movie?
Hitman…must have watched this like 10 times…probably know it backwards

34. What’s your occupation?
Editor…holy cow! I have a deadline!!! EEK!!

35. What’s your sign?
Taurus….I am a BULL!!!

36. Are you a beach, country or city person
City, city, city…I enjoy the fast life…

37. Best vacation spot you’ve been to?
Malindi…

38. Have you ever had a “secret affair?”
Hmm…define secret…

39. If you could own a non-traditional pet which would it be?
“Non-traditional”???

40. Favorite show as a child?
The Smuffs

41. Where do you spend most of your money?
Shopping for shoes!!

42. Are you currently working at a job that you hate?
I love my job…just hate the place…make sense??

43. Have you ever been so heart broken that you called in sick to work?
Good grief!! Does that actually happen for real?

44. Favorite summer drink?
Ok, we are ALWAYS experiencing “summer”…that said…Alvaro! And no, I don’t care whether its alcoholic or not.

45. Can you change a car tire?
Why should I?? Aren’t there some guys who get paid to do that?

46. Favorite cologne / perfume?
Flower by Kenzo

47. Favorite candle scent?
Potpourri

48. Would you consider yourself adventurous?
Yeah…my whole life is practically an adventure…

49. What is your My Space profile song?
My-what???

50. Favorite concert attended?
Ok, I just did a concert question somewhere up yonder..

51. Would you date an already attached man / woman?
Attached? To what? Or where? Are we talking Siamese twins or somethin?

52. Would you sing Karaoke in front of co-workers?
I would sing, period.

53. Can you shoot pool?
No, but I can shoot a b***h…

54. Do you like your siblings’ significant others?
Ok, this significance ish is so yesterday.

55. Can you drive a stick?
Drive a what? Ok, I need a translator.

56. Did you wear white at your wedding?
Wedding…again. (Huge, collective sigh)

57. Have you ever sat and hoped for a phone call?
Mmm…lets see…I’ve hopped on the spot, jogged, twiddled my thimbs, wringed my fingers till they turned blue, chewed on my lips, tugged at my meager hair…well, sitting doesn’t quite fit in here, now does it?

58. Ever skip school and spend the day at the beach?
Beach, no. Bed yes.

59. Favorite TV show/s?
Gilmore Girls, 24, 2 and A Half Men, Prison Break, America’s Next Top Model, Scrubs, Ugly Betty

60. What do you think about gay marriage?
I don’t think about it.

62. What are you waiting for at the movies?
What?

63. What is your favorite holiday?
Christmas!!

64. Describe your fighting style: drunken master or angry monkey?
Ok, I’m a very refined person, so clearly mudslinging competitions and cat fights aint my thing. I prefer strategic arbitration when dealing with distasteful incidents. Catch my drift?

65. Piercing?
Yes…ears

66. Tattoos?
I want

67. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card?
Mmm…

68. Thongs? yes or no.
Maybe

69. Write 2 truths and 1 lie.
I don’t want to. Lying is bad

May it be noted that shortly afterwards, yours truly passed out

Tuesday, 9 September 2008

Men, men, men…



N.B. : Yes…its true…every once in a while, I digress and address less “serious” matters (a la politics n Co.) So, true to my spontaneous nature, I post this somewhat “less tedious” tidbit…


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


A wise man once told me, "My advice to you young lady... don't try to understand men because you only end up being more confused than before..."


Well, lets just say I think dude was on to something...


See…


1. The nice men are ugly.


2. The handsome men are not nice.


3. The handsome and nice men are gay.


4. The handsome, nice, and heterosexual men
are married.


5. The men who are not so handsome, but are
nice men, have NO money.


6. The men who are not so handsome, but are
nice men with money think we are only after their
money.(hmm…anybody differ?)


7. The handsome men without money are after
OUR money.


8. The handsome men, who are not so nice and
somewhat heterosexual, don't think we are beautiful enough.


9. The men who think we are beautiful, that
are heterosexual, somewhat nice and have no money,
are cowards.


10. The men who are somewhat handsome, somewhat nice and have money


and THANK GOD are straight, are shy and NEVER MAKE THE FIRST MOVE!!!(ok,


seriously, what’s up with that?)


11. The men who never make the first move, automatically lose interest


in us when we take the initiative



So once again I think…for ONCE…the wise man was right…






Thursday, 21 August 2008

Just a thought

Okay, it seems that the controversy surrounding the sale of the Grand Regency hotel just went a notch higher. Apparently, the Libyan owners of the luxurious hotel have changed the name to Laico regency or something of the sort. Now, if that’s not a lousy stamp of ownership being brandished before us, then I don’t know what is. The hint is loud and clear for all you doubting Thomases; the hotel is ours so back off! That’s what they seem to be saying.

So I’m left to wonder; what exactly will the Cockar commission accomplish, now that business seems to be going on as usual? The hard fact is that the Libyans are not about to back off. They have a tenacious grip on the hotel title deed and no amount of “evidence”, accusations and counter accusations will make them budge.

Frankly speaking, this all seems to me to be a waste of time, energy and money. Just like any other commission of inquiry, this one will also go down in history as yet another group of persons who sat down and produced a document. Nothing will come of it. Because one would expect some sort of intervention whereby, the disputed hotel is reclaimed by the CBK until the matter of the inappropriate sale is sorted out.

But if the events on the ground are anything to go by, then this is all but a pipe dream. It was only about three weeks ago that Gaddafi’s special envoy, Mr Bashir Saleh Bashir gave a terse statement to the effect that the Libyan government is officially the new owner of the hotel(whether we like it or not) and that the debate as to whether the hotel should be repossessed by the CBK is moot.

Well, there you have it; the Grand Regency, sorry, the Laico Regency, is well and truly gone. Yup, what’s gone is gone. Deal with it!

In other news…

The VP’s wife apparently pockets 400K per month. Okay, I may be behind events on this one but seriously, someone explain to me exactly why she is earning so much money. What exactly is all this money for? And when was it decided that she should be paid by taxpayers’ money for doing whatever it is she is supposed to do? Crikes! What else is new???

My God! This is really the straw that breaks the camel’s back!

Tuesday, 19 August 2008

A DVD a Day May Keep Fazul Away

Well, I thought that in this day and age of unfathomable technology and mind reeling advancement, the entire world would have caught on and tried out a few high-tech antics in almost every sector; from science, agriculture to even security.

Of course the “First” world is well past this stage of trying out the novel technical mish mash that constitutes technological know how. It’s the developing countries that are slowly, but steadily getting grip of the wonders of technology and trying to put these to use to better the performance of their institutions.

Well, I may have beaten around the bush somewhat so let me hit the nail squarely on the head. Is it that our Kenyan police force are not dazzled by any of this technical how or is it that they are completely stymied when it comes to dealing with the apprehension of international terrorists and other criminals?

Take for instance the case of Fazul Abdullah a.k.a Fazul of the August bomb blast that shook Nairobi in 1998. The guy is clearly leaving the cops in a bit of a stupor. Because if the facts are right, then this man may just be the next best bet after Houdini; he has managed to creep, crawl, jump, dash and sidle through every possible nook, exit and barricade that the police have managed to create and left them looking dimmer than a hydrogen bulb.

Why is it that the police have been unable to nab the “most wanted terrorist” on this side of the Sahara? Despite the numerous tip offs, close encounters and manpower that they have, they simply just cant catch Fazul! And to think that the fellow has a kidney problem that would make a toothache seem like a mild cold. He probably cant even walk straight. But no! Somehow, some way, he has managed to elude the police, over and over again.

The worst part is that they always appear thoroughly unfazed and diffident when relaying their incapability to nab the bomber. Like recently when a team of anti-terrorist officers ambushed a building where Fazul was hiding in, it somehow didn’t seem to cross their minds that the building needed to be completely surrounded. So while the good police were busy hammering in the front door, the terrorist managed to sneak out through the back and rush away to sweet freedom. Again!

For crying out loud, haven’t the numerous programmes such as 24, Prison Break and CSI, just to name a few, taught these fellows anything? Okay, I know these programmes may not be everyone’s cup of tea, but frankly speaking, if I was a cop, I think I’d be keen to know just what exactly these “cop programmes” have to offer that I don’t already know. Whether its fictitious or fact. Because I bet there are some pretty cool moves and antics that many a cop would learn. Even our very own “Cobra Squad” may have something to offer.

Forget the crazy sci-fi effects and the coded gibberish that the actors bark at each other when approaching a building where a suspect is holed in. Concentrate on how they approach the building or suspect, how they speak, how they walk, crawl, creep or dash in and how they accost the suspect etc etc. I think its surprising what one can learn from these programmes.

True, they are just but figments of some very creative director’s imagination, but frankly, some ideas are quite feasible.

So please, someone lend these guys a DVD or two. Maybe this may just give them a couple of ideas on how to deal with Fazul and his cohorts.

And his nine lives may quickly come to a screeching end.