Wednesday, 29 October 2008

Always Have A Plan B

I came across this story; and it kinda put things in perspective. That Plan B? A major priority!

A pretty woman was serving a life sentence in prison. Angry and resentful about her situation, she had decided that she would rather die than to live another year in prison.

Over the years she had become good friends with one of the prison caretakers. His job, among others, was to bury those prisoners who died in a graveyard just outside the prison walls. When a prisoner died, the caretaker rang a bell, which was heard by everyone. The caretaker then got the body and put it in a casket. Next, he entered his office to fill out the death certificate before returning to the casket to nail the
lid shut. Finally, he put the casket on a wagon to take it to the graveyard and bury it.

Knowing this routine, the woman devised an escape plan and shared it with the caretaker. The next time the bell rang, the woman would leave her cell and sneak into the dark room where the coffins were kept. She would slip into the coffin with the dead body while the caretaker was filling out the death certificate. When the care-taker returned, he would nail the lid shut and take the coffin outside the prison with the woman in the coffin along with the dead body. He would then bury the
coffin. The woman knew there would be enough air for her to breathe until later in the evening when the caretaker would return to the graveyard under the cover of darkness, dig up the coffin, open it, and set her free.

The caretaker was reluctant to go along with this plan, but since he and the woman had become good friends over the years, he agreed to do it.

The woman waited several weeks before someone in the prison died. She was asleep in her cell when she heard the death bell ring. She got up and slowly walked down the hallway. She was nearly caught a couple of times. Her heart was beating fast. She opened the door to the darkened room where the coffins were kept. Quietly in the dark, she found the coffin that contained the dead body, carefully climbed into the coffin and pulled the lid shut to wait for the caretaker to come and nail the

lid shut.

Soon she heard footsteps and the pounding of the hammer and nails. Even though she was very uncomfortable in the coffin with the dead body, she knew that with each nail she was one step closer to freedom. The coffin was lifted onto the wagon and taken outside to the graveyard. She could feel the coffin being lowered into the ground. She didn't make a sound as the coffin hit the bottom of the grave with a thud. Finally she heard the dirt dropping onto the top of the wooden coffin, and she knew that it was only a matter of time until she would be free at last.

After several minutes of absolute silence, she began to laugh. She was free!
She was free! Feeling curious, she decided to light a match to find out
the identity of the dead prisoner beside her.

To her horror, she discovered that she was lying next to the dead
caretaker…


Many people believe they have life all figured out..... but sometimes
it just doesn't turn out the way they planned it.

Think of a 'Plan B'!

Monday, 13 October 2008

Truisms...

Truisms…

'Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small doesn't serve the world.
There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so
that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine, as children do.
We are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It's not just in some of us, it's in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine,
we unconsciously give other
people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear,
our presence automatically liberates others.

- BARACK OBAMA

Thursday, 25 September 2008

Cartoon of the month!



I have to hand it to Gado;dude is a genius...

If this here illustration doesnt make u bray with laughter, then nothing will. I mean, look at those expressions on Uhuru and Karua's faces...MY GOD!

Lets see...satire, check. Wit...check check. Sarcasm...triple check!

Enough said.

Tuesday, 16 September 2008

Looking back...

http://www.eastandard.net/politics/InsidePage.php?id=1143994954&cid=289&

I came across this interesting article, just as I was ruminating over issues regarding our country’s CEO’s performance record.

I must say, dude hit the nail precisely on the head. And with this in mind, I can only add my 5 cents worth: this country was more or less better off in the Moi days.

Yup, there I said it. Now bring out the rungus and machetes…but before you cast the first stone, you might want to think about this a bit. Go on, chew on this piece of cud…

Does anyone honestly feel that this country’s institutions are much more efficient than they were some 8 years ago?

True some exceptions can be drawn, and even some privatized institutions have a lot to show for themselves. But I sincerely miss the days when Moi would just crack the whip and all disgruntled and unruly "chieftains" would be back on track, toeing the line. True, the former CEO was a bit too heavy on the “Big Man” character, but I feel in the long run, this country was spared a lot of mudslinging and name calling as is now the norm amongst our MPs.

Well, we may draw comparisons for an entire decade but methinks Moi knew how to keep his country well oiled and running. Of course, it reached a point when democracy(which can be very very loud) had to have the day; but I wish Kibaki would have borrowed a leaf or two from the “Professor of politics”…

Friday, 12 September 2008

Of true women friends …

There are women who will make your life miserable if you allow them to.

There are women who will go behind your back to report/bitch talk/yap/gossip/hate on you,

There are also women who want what you have: your job, your confidence, your peace and joy - and your husband!

There are those who will look at you from head to toe and find a fault to pick on.

Then there are those who want to be you (not realizing that you have your own insecurities).

There are those who want to know where you shop just so they can rate your class and how far up the ladder they are.

Then of course, there are those who secretly want your boyfriend or husband.One truth in life is that even if drawn together by the same faith, community or interests, not every woman can be your true friend.

A true friend would never compete with you. In fact, when life beats you up so hard that you can't dream, she dreams for you.

When you can't afford a trip out of town, she pays for your ticket. If you introduce her to a male friend, she will ask you a hundred times if you like the guy before she shows any interest.

She would never date your ex because when he became a jerk to you, he might as well have become a jerk to her as well, never mind who was at fault. I have found that it is necessary to find female friends (and become one as well) with whom you connect deeply.

Women who are confident in who they are without being arrogant.

Women who know that there is more to life than who is dating who and who bought what from where.

Today, tell all your TRUE female friends that your world would be less without them.

Friendship

is a promise spoken by heart. It is not given by a pledge, neither is it written on a paper.

It is a promise renewed every time friends keep in touch.

69 Questions

1. What’s worse - Physical or Mental cheating?
Si cheating is cheating?

2. Is it easier to forgive or forget?
To forgive….forgetting…well, that’s a matter of the heart, and frankly speaking, my heart tends to overwrite my brain many a time.

3. Can men and women be ” Just Friends?”
Heck yeah…happens like ALL the time

4. Dating co-workers?
Mmm….

5. All expenses paid vacation to anywhere?
Hurray! Where, when, what time? Can I carry two hand luggage pieces???

6. On the way to the electric chair - What’s your last meal?
Meal??!! Are u freakin kiddin me?? I’m about to die n***a!!!

7. Water parks are…?
WTF are water parks???

8. When you are “In Love” do you notice other people?
What do “other people” and “in love” have to do with each other???

9. Is flirting cheating?
Ok, didn’t I just answer a cheating question somewhere along the line??? C’mon now!

10. Would you rather have 1 great friend or 5 pals?
Def – 1 super duper friend!

11. If someone called you a bitch would you be offended?
Who me? A bitch? B***h its ON!!!

12. Are you ok with your significant other being friends with an ex?
Significant other? Significant how? When did this significance happen? Who gives a rat’s tail anyways?

13. Would you live with someone without marrying them?
Ok, this is outrageously hilariuos!!! We r jus livin together!!!Helllooooo??

14. Favorite sport?
Sport….hmm….lacrosse???

15. Is toilet paper hung over or under?
WTF???

16. Do you squeeze toothpaste from the middle or end of the tube?
Ok, this is a trick question, right?

17. How do you feel about tanning booths?
Tanning….ok, I ain’t white…so clearly…

18. Friends with benefits?
Friends are friends…whether with benefits or not.

19. Do you believe in angels?
Yup….I know a couple…

20. Would you rather take pictures or be in pictures?
Take….

21. Have you ever flirted with someone you had no interest in?
Nope…that would beat the whole purpose, now wouldn’t it?

22. Ever kissed a random person and then walked away?
Nope

23. Would you buy bootleg merchandise?
Shhh…don’t say that aloud! DAMN! (yes I would)

24. What color looks best on you?
Blue...and black

25. If you could play any sport professionally what would it be?
Tennis...I love them short skirts!

26. Ever break up with someone and regret it?
Mmm…not reeeeally.

27. Are you a jealous person?
I can be…

28. Would you ever have plastic surgery?
NO! its plastic!

29. When do you want to get married?
Who wants to get married?? C’mon…trick questions…gat to stop!

30. Who has the sexiest accents?
Ok….sexy is relative…so…Brits??

31. Next concert you’re attending?
I would only ever attend a rock concert, and seeing that we’re in Kenya…I’m guessing that will never happen…so…never?

32. Favorite song?
Contagious by Avril. Oh…gat to squeeze in Gravity by Sara Bareilles

33. Favorite movie?
Hitman…must have watched this like 10 times…probably know it backwards

34. What’s your occupation?
Editor…holy cow! I have a deadline!!! EEK!!

35. What’s your sign?
Taurus….I am a BULL!!!

36. Are you a beach, country or city person
City, city, city…I enjoy the fast life…

37. Best vacation spot you’ve been to?
Malindi…

38. Have you ever had a “secret affair?”
Hmm…define secret…

39. If you could own a non-traditional pet which would it be?
“Non-traditional”???

40. Favorite show as a child?
The Smuffs

41. Where do you spend most of your money?
Shopping for shoes!!

42. Are you currently working at a job that you hate?
I love my job…just hate the place…make sense??

43. Have you ever been so heart broken that you called in sick to work?
Good grief!! Does that actually happen for real?

44. Favorite summer drink?
Ok, we are ALWAYS experiencing “summer”…that said…Alvaro! And no, I don’t care whether its alcoholic or not.

45. Can you change a car tire?
Why should I?? Aren’t there some guys who get paid to do that?

46. Favorite cologne / perfume?
Flower by Kenzo

47. Favorite candle scent?
Potpourri

48. Would you consider yourself adventurous?
Yeah…my whole life is practically an adventure…

49. What is your My Space profile song?
My-what???

50. Favorite concert attended?
Ok, I just did a concert question somewhere up yonder..

51. Would you date an already attached man / woman?
Attached? To what? Or where? Are we talking Siamese twins or somethin?

52. Would you sing Karaoke in front of co-workers?
I would sing, period.

53. Can you shoot pool?
No, but I can shoot a b***h…

54. Do you like your siblings’ significant others?
Ok, this significance ish is so yesterday.

55. Can you drive a stick?
Drive a what? Ok, I need a translator.

56. Did you wear white at your wedding?
Wedding…again. (Huge, collective sigh)

57. Have you ever sat and hoped for a phone call?
Mmm…lets see…I’ve hopped on the spot, jogged, twiddled my thimbs, wringed my fingers till they turned blue, chewed on my lips, tugged at my meager hair…well, sitting doesn’t quite fit in here, now does it?

58. Ever skip school and spend the day at the beach?
Beach, no. Bed yes.

59. Favorite TV show/s?
Gilmore Girls, 24, 2 and A Half Men, Prison Break, America’s Next Top Model, Scrubs, Ugly Betty

60. What do you think about gay marriage?
I don’t think about it.

62. What are you waiting for at the movies?
What?

63. What is your favorite holiday?
Christmas!!

64. Describe your fighting style: drunken master or angry monkey?
Ok, I’m a very refined person, so clearly mudslinging competitions and cat fights aint my thing. I prefer strategic arbitration when dealing with distasteful incidents. Catch my drift?

65. Piercing?
Yes…ears

66. Tattoos?
I want

67. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card?
Mmm…

68. Thongs? yes or no.
Maybe

69. Write 2 truths and 1 lie.
I don’t want to. Lying is bad

May it be noted that shortly afterwards, yours truly passed out

Tuesday, 9 September 2008

Men, men, men…



N.B. : Yes…its true…every once in a while, I digress and address less “serious” matters (a la politics n Co.) So, true to my spontaneous nature, I post this somewhat “less tedious” tidbit…


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


A wise man once told me, "My advice to you young lady... don't try to understand men because you only end up being more confused than before..."


Well, lets just say I think dude was on to something...


See…


1. The nice men are ugly.


2. The handsome men are not nice.


3. The handsome and nice men are gay.


4. The handsome, nice, and heterosexual men
are married.


5. The men who are not so handsome, but are
nice men, have NO money.


6. The men who are not so handsome, but are
nice men with money think we are only after their
money.(hmm…anybody differ?)


7. The handsome men without money are after
OUR money.


8. The handsome men, who are not so nice and
somewhat heterosexual, don't think we are beautiful enough.


9. The men who think we are beautiful, that
are heterosexual, somewhat nice and have no money,
are cowards.


10. The men who are somewhat handsome, somewhat nice and have money


and THANK GOD are straight, are shy and NEVER MAKE THE FIRST MOVE!!!(ok,


seriously, what’s up with that?)


11. The men who never make the first move, automatically lose interest


in us when we take the initiative



So once again I think…for ONCE…the wise man was right…