Friday 16 May 2008

Not A Part Of My life…

Yeah, well…we all have dealt with this “phenomenon” at one time or another in our somewhat twisted lives.

Check it…you go to school(high school or primary, it doesn’t matter) or campus or college. You meet up with old friends and even make new ones. Now, the great thing about institutions(of learning), is that we somehow tend to coalesce into so-called groups/circles where we feel safer and/or more capable of handling the rigours of institutionalized life.

In simpler terms, we form cliques that help us move on with life in high school or campus. I know I was inculcated into one such group; trust me, it did me a lot of good while I was struggling with the culture shock that is campus life… And this explains, as an offshoot, how basically, sororities and fraternities came to be…

Well. The amazing thing here is that whereas we tend to become so tight with our so called “sistaz” and “boyz” while in these institutions, in a couple more years, everything changes. Yes, it does…and you know it.

I thought about this the other day, and realized that out of the battalion of friends I have made over the years, I can only confess to having retained roughly….ten or so friends. And I don’t mean the sort who only remember you when they’re broke or need your “expert career savvy opinions.” No, I’m talking about the real, honest-to-goodness friends. Just ten(or less).

Seriously, when do people cease to be a part of your life? Not because of some irreconcilable differences or anything of the sort; they just cease to be.

It may seem pretty trivial but the reality is that its more of a saddening scenario. A pain.

Because when you create bonds with people you’ve studied with and grown up with together for years, and then after your tenure with each other comes to an end, they simply vanish…it leaves a lot to be desired.

Gone are the days when friendships mattered. When friends looked out for each other and made an effort to be there through thick and thin.

I look at my phone book and sigh; there’s hardly enough persons there who I can actually confess to be really close to. I have even deleted some numbers…no sense in keeping them anyways coz after all, when will I ever use them?

This here attitude is what has degenerated the once vital gift of friendship. And its very easy to lose friends, I have realised. Harder even to get them back…

Technology has also not made it any easier. In this day and age of mobile telephony and the World Wide Web, its hardly necessary to see people personally, face-to-face. No! Why bother when you can always send a quick text, IM a few pals and send several emails?

Hell, we can go whole months without seeing our once “tighter than tight” buddies and feel nothing. Trust me, I know what I’m talking about – having friends; oodles of them, has ceased to be important. Why strain ourselves with the rigours of personal relationships when we can always make new online friends?

Oh yeah, and then there’s the ever-convenient excuse of being too busy. Our careers have held us hostage; we cant find time enough o hang out with our friends as we used to.

It really stinks; this whole scenario. And I dare say, its probably going to get worse with time. People have given up on relationships; I know I have. But I’m thinking its probably never too late to mend the ribbon now, is it?

Do I know where my high school buddies and campus clique are? Hardly; they have simply moved on. Perhaps a few who I still communicate with…but the majority? Well, they have ceased to be a part of my life. Did I have anything to do with it? Absolutely! Am I willing to reel them back in? Well, only time will tell for I’m still working on my issues…

2 comments:

Michael said...

You got that spot - on! We often tend to conviniently forget the "close ties" that were formed when in school. At least you can count up to 10... What! I need me some reacquaintance. What I always say is that you cannot be friends with everyone and as we grow older we learn to tell the differnce betweem mere acquaintances and true friendship...of course you can always try to keep in touch but if it is not constant one of you is bound to let go along the way. That is life!

willpress said...

Hey citycat, yeah am back for the holidayz agen so yea. . .sorry for not reading/writing our stuff. Apparently I was "too busy" hehehehehehe , jus kidding!
But Ive noticed groupings in Kenyan institutions of learning are quite unique.Was with three pals and we were thinking of what each one of us would be in an American Univeristy.One came out a jock, another a nerd, another a surfer dude and the last was a blonde. . . Nice thought you gave me right there. . .I'll work on it. . .
Yup technology has really jumbled up the issue of the essentials of a good friendship. . . Yes human beings cannot not communicate, but at what expense? The chatroom culture has transformed us into mere usernames with smilies/emoticons. . .very expendable indeed. Friendship is becoming a notion that exists in the mind. . .like playing a video game! Lovely train of thought, am sure to hop on it.

OK lets talk bout that book shall we? My e-mail be willpression@gmail.com