Alter Attack!

I’ve always prided myself with the notion that I can make my own decisions and hardly does peer pressure affect this process. Moreover, I have never really had to do something I never wanted to.

Yeah…right. That’s until I recently discovered (ok, it’s not so recent, considering I have known this for slightly over ten years) that I am more than one person. Uh huh…yeah.

Look, I’m no retard, everyone has their OMG moments where they suddenly realise that there exists more than one personality to speak of.

So yeah, I realised I have more than one (actually say three) different personalities. Now, I’m no Emily Rose so no need to call an exorcist. But I do know that my alters are pretty stubborn and can make me do basically anything; from dancing atop a barstool to jumping off a cliff(of course bungee-jump. What sort of jumping did you think I was referring to?)

Now, let me get to my point – so one of my alters was exceedingly in command this past few days and my, oh my, doesn’t she just do the darndest things!

I mean- I could get arrested when she’s in control. She totally throws all caution to the wind, doesn’t give two rat-tails about anything and would dive head first into quicksand just for fun. It’s quite scary when I think about it.

Its this scary…

Sasha Fierce aint got nothing on this banshee…she’s a hellcat. A very, very wild hellcat.

So I will simply put it across that this past few days have been insane; I shall not be held accountable for whatever activities I may have engaged in and suffice it to say that ultimately, it really isn’t my fault coz everybody knows that the mother personality is never really in control of her alters at some point. Come on, you know it’s true. Don’t you watch Lie to Me?

I was attacked by Crazy Alter Mama. And it was crazy beautiful.

I’m loving: Dog Days Are Over - Florence and The Machine

Passing stars…

Just read of Rich Cronin’s passing on my way to work and my heart skipped a beat. Okay, so like some of you are asking, who the heck? He was one third of the famous 90s to early 2000 rock boy band LFO. Still not getting it? Okay, let me try again – think the all-time hits, Summer Girls, Life Is Good, Girl on TV or Every Other Time. You know, if you aint getting any of this then I’m not even sure why we’re even having this conversation in the first place…

Man, this takes me back to my early campus days (trust me, it aint as way back as I’d like everyone to believe) when I used to jam all the greatest rock hits and Billboard Top Tens…this definitely got me through what was probably one of the most gruelling and stress-inducing passages through my life – campus. Okay, fine campus is meant to be that moment in life where you “discover” yourself and if your lucky, make it through school without engaging in all manner of self-destructive behaviour et al. Oh, and have quite a whoop of a time while at it.

I did have fun – yeah, major fun…so I guess the rock helped. Plus the first mixtape I ever got from a guy was this cool rock CD that had awesome LFO, Linkin Park and all the other cool rock bands you could ever name in a heartbeat.

So it kills me to hear of yet another loved rocker’s demise…it kills me.

R.I.P Rich.

I’m loving: Life is Good - LFO

Is that blue skies I see?

Its official – summer’s back! YEESS!

Gone are the mittens, scruffy scarves, legwarmers and leggings.

In come the fluttery, summer dresses, spaghetti tops, shorts and skirts, flip-flops and sandals. Of course i cant possibly wear these to work but the idea that ist possible to rock these once again is simply dizzying!

I love,love,love, LOVE the sunny days!

Let’s welcome the real September.

I’m loving: "Blue Sky" by Point of Grace

Of buses and new friends.

WOW!!!

Ok…this feels amazingly weird.

I have never been this quiet and its good to be back after my looooong hiatus.

Anyhu, emotions aside (I swear I wasn’t sniffing…)

So…lets see, what’s been happening while I was away…well, aside from red-call scares, promulgation(is this term only meant to be used once in the Kenyan calendar or will it now move over to being a hit amongst new-born Luo babies??), nothing much seems to have occurred.

As for my ordinary life…well, I happened upon some one interesting on a recent trip from Kisumu. Suffice it to say that I actually struck an absorbing conversation with a hitherto kawa guy.

I almost always NEVER EVER talk to strangers in the bus; I always have my earphones plugged in snugly, or a book (Robert Ludlum or James Patterson novels are the best books to scare away any insistent pests on a long-distance trip. The size of the novel does the trick) or a fashion magazine. If none of this is handy, well a robotic stare in the offender’s direction does it. Or a stare that would shatter glass. Whichever comes first.

So I checked into my seat, strapped myself in – yeah, Kenyan roads aint the problem anymore, Kenyan drivers are! I wore my socks, pulled my polo-neck right around my neck and settled in for what was meant to be a long, snooze-filled journey back to Nairobi.

Until dude ambles into the bus and equally straps himself into the seat next to mine. I suppose he looked harmless enough but still – a cursory glance at him and I turned back towards the window. I didn’t expect the fellow to utter any words of greeting nor ask if I had a cold. Hmm…he probably thought I had the Swine Flu, or H1N1 whatever (is it still considered a pandemic?)

Anyhu, I said hello and closed my eyes. Exactly thirty winks later, he started again, “Eer...what brought you to Kisumu?”

Surely? Are you kidding me! It’s a cold night, I’m trying to get some shut-eye coz I’m working the following day and this guy wants to strike a conversation?

I almost tore my meagre hair out. But as mother always averred, always be kind but cautious with strangers. I looked at the guy – he didn’t seem strange to me. You know – like those Onyancha types. None of that. Infact, he was quite cute. Plus my big sister and her best buddy were only a couple of seats behind. Oh well, I was willing to break the rules for once.

So hence started what was to be a lengthy discussion…from his reason for coming to Kisumu(it was his girl’s birthday and he’d come over to spend some QT with her.Aaaw…aint that sweet?), to his work, my work, how annoying people can be, relationships(yeah, somehow that always features prominently in any conversation), why I’m in banking, his projects, my secret life, his secret life etc etc etc.

Before I knew it, we were in Nakuru and I was warning him not to take a smoke – yup, somehow I became the strict maternal figure that was going to squish my new-found accomplice to oblivion if he dared smoke (see, he’s trying to quit smoking – quite a noble decision if you ask me).

Eventually he had pity on me and allowed me to get some sleep, and even offered a shoulder (quite a cushy one too) to lie on. I must have snored in my sleep – I was so comfortable!

Nairobi came up faster than you could say Jack Daniels and I was soon unfolding myself from my seat, unable to comprehend how my day was gonna be. I definitely looked like a train wreck. We said our goodbyes – exchanged cards and hugs actually – and he was off.

I must say I got to learn something new that day:

1. Not everyone I sit next to on the bus is secretly harbouring thoughts of harvesting my liver or kidneys.

2. I can safely travel without my books and I’ll live.

3. There’s actually something like “other interesting people” out there. Try it.

I have a new pal! YAY!

It’s good to be back.

I’m loving: I’ll Be There – The Rembrandts.